Don’t: Cram too much information into a single sentence

Complex ideas do not require complex sentences. Academics, especially in the field of law, long embraced the idea that traditional academic language is somehow more precise than everyday language. The more incomprehensible to the uninitiated, the better. Opposition to this erroneous idea led to the creation of the plain language movement (also called the plain English movement) in consumer law.¹ In defending the movement, Carl Felsenfeld, Professor Emeritus of Law at Fordham University, differentiates between technical writing and bad writing: “By just bad writing, I mean that traditional form of lawyer-like expression that has nothing to do with technical concepts. It is a manner of speech that lawyers learn.” Among his examples of bad writing, he notes that “sentences are simply longer than they have to be.”²

Although lawyers are the most notorious violators of the principles of plain language, they are certainly not the only ones. Concise writing does not mean cramming as much information as possible into one long, droning sentence. It means making your point succinctly and then moving on to make the next point. Even if you think long, complex sentences make you sound smarter, they don’t help your readers understand your message.